• iʟʟυмinᴀᴛᴇ •

All because of my mum!

If you were to ask me why I joined Glow United, that would be my first answer to you.

So I was encouraged, coaxed, pushed and threatened (or else I would have to join my parents’ cell with all the uncles and aunties!) to join a cell this year when I start college.

Before leaving my house on that Friday night, my mum told me “Make new friends!” I feel like my first day of kindergarten all over again; my first day in primary school, secondary school and college. She always tells me the same thing.

Making new friends has been a problem for me since I was small. It was something that I have never been good at. I remember this conversation with my friend long time ago.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Friend: “This is how you make friends - First you go to them, smile, and tell them your name.”

Me: “That’s so scary.”

Friend: “Then you start making conversations.”

Me: “The weather?”

Friend: “You can ask how are they doing today?”

Me: “But I don’t really care about that... I don’t know them.”

Friend: “Get to know them better, maybe ask what their parents are working as.”

Me: “Why would I want to know what their parents work as?!”

Friend: “Never mind.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I’m actually quite a talkative person. But when I meet new people or strangers, I get tongue-tied and very nervous. I don’t know how to start a conversation, I don’t know how to present myself in front of a group of people I just met, so I’ll stay quiet. I rather let somebody else make the first move to come and talk to me. If nobody comes then I’ll just keep to myself.

A friend who knows me for a long time once said that to strangers, I’m an introvert; but to people I know well or close friends, I’m an extrovert.

I just don’t make new friends because I don’t know how to. I feel very, very uncomfortable to be with a group of people I don’t know. All the friends I have right now, they took the initiative to get to know me first, which I thank God so much! Or else I might have my mum and sister as my only Facebook friends and no Farmville neighbours. ~~Sad.~~

Back to my first day in cell, my dad dropped me in church and I was very nervous. I actually thought of going back home and try to come for cell the next week. What if I don’t make any friends? What if I feel so left out? What if they think I’m weird? (Actually I am, but you’re not supposed to know that the first time you meet me).

My first day in cell was also the first cell of the year. After a round of introduction, I tried my best to remember everybody’s name. I was thinking that the least I can do in learning how to make friends is to remember other people’s names. And I could remember everyone’s names except for 2 guys.

During cell I barely spoke. I kept to myself and I felt awkward. Very, very awkward. I didn't know what else to do but to listen to anyone who was speaking. I kept playing with my fingers and I didn’t make eye contact with anyone when they talked to me. I was actually secretly hoping I didn't need to talk at all.

My first impression of Glow was that the people in this cell laugh so easily. Such a cheerful, adorable, lovable, fun and full-of-sunshine type of group. Great, everything I’m not. Am I in the right cell?

I came for my first cell feeling shy and awkward and I left that night feeling even more awkward. But there was a different kind of feeling in me. It’s like the laughter from cell was still ringing in my head and I was in a good mood. Perhaps some of their cheerfulness rubbed off on me already.

That night, my mum was waiting for me at home and of course, her first question was “Did you make any friends?” Well, I guess I did, but I don’t know.

And the next Friday night I found myself back in cell again.

I shall not bore you to death by describing the next 9 months I had in cell. But here I am, attended Glow United for the past 9 months and will continue to do so.

I’m not shy anymore in Glow (obviously), which means that I have become open and comfortable in cell. I have transformed from an introvert to an extrovert. I don’t know how, or when, but I made friends in Glow! And I’m sure it’s not because I made the first move, I’m too shy to do that. So I guess everyone in Glow actually came to get to know me better.

Thank you Glow people, you all really put a glow in my life since I joined cell. I made new friends! Now people actually say hi to me in church because they know me. Every week I can look forward for Friday nights because cell is so happening and exciting! I can laugh easily like my cell people now, because I learned it from them. I am exposed to so much more about the Bible and God since I joined cell. And have I mentioned I made new friends?!!

In January, making new friends was not something I expected for the year but God is good and I believe every single person I met in Glow United and Couz is a blessing from God to me.

I think I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again – I made new friends!!! And I didn’t even need to ask them what their parents work as.

Now that you're getting to know me better, you’re becoming ‘old’ friends already, haha!

meeshell

PS – After 3 weeks in cell, I finally found out those 2 guys’ names are Tzyy Jeng and Jee Wang. Soproudofmyself.